What Sugar Does to The Brain
by Dragonwings
Summary: Ok, my cousin posted this and she 'edited' it a little. She hates R/H, but quite personaly I don't care. I wouldn't care if Hermione ended up with Trevor the Toad! Do you hear me I DON'T CARE! Anywhey, this is about a bus, France, the HP crew, and a bit o


What Sugar Does to The Brain

(Sort of my first fic)

  
  


Disclaimer: I don't own any of this stuff except for me, the PB characters, and the bus. Headmistress Abby (you all know her as DameChina) of http://www.expage.com/hogwartsschoolofmagic owns herself, her school, and the Britney Spears song parody sung by me. She also owns the marvelous Britney Spears Cliche... heh heh. The great lord SpamWarrior owns Lorna Doors and

herself. The genius J.K. Rowling owns herself, the HP settings, and the HP characters ::sigh:: including my dear Severus. France owns it self because it won it's independence in the French Revolution (Yay! Go France!). Who ever makes Pixie Stixs and Dr. Pepper (I looooooooooooooooove Dr. Pepper) is responsible for the effect it had on my brain in order to write this. Snickers belong to the company who makes them. Brittany Spears is owned by

Satan and so are her songs. To any one else who I mentioned, you know what you own!

  
  


A/N: Headmistress Abby, I am soooooooooo sorry I did this to you. I couldn't help it. 'O genius SpamWarrior, forgive me for mentioning your name in the insane fanfic (if you would review this I would just die! That is how high of regards that I hold you and Gypsy!) To the rest of you, review please. Reviews make the authors' days happier and it lets them know you care. To any of my students from DameChina's school who are reading this, it will be in your best interest to review this. I hope you all enjoy this and have a nice day!

- Professor Dragonwings

  
  


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Test day! Snape loved test day. This was the day he got to do nothing, but sit back and watch everyone screw up and get punished for it. Nothing could go wrong. He sat back in his chair as the Slytherins and blasted Gryfindors walked in and started taking the test. 

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Why did it have to be test day? Why did (Dame)China have to send him a letter telling him she was coming today? Draco sat in his chair and started his test.

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Malfoy: Professor, can I speak to you in private?

  
  


Snape: No! You have a test to take and a 100 to make! This is a simple test. 

  
  


Malfoy: I think you should know that I got a letter from 'Them'.

  
  


Snape: (eyes widen) Oh no . . . . . . . 

  
  


(Window breaks and Professor Dragonwings flies through it)

  
  


Dragonwings: Weeeeeeeeeeee! (Lands in Snape's lap) Hi hon! (Gives him a big kiss on his nose) Hi all!China should be here soon . . . . . .

  
  


China: (flies through the window also and lands in Malfoy's lap) Hey baaaaaaby! Waz up? (kisses him)

  
  


Harry: (snickers)

  
  


Ron: (snickers)

  
  


Dragonwings: I like Snickers! They rule! Can I ask you two a question?

  
  


Snape: You just did.

  
  


Dragonwings: Why does every one call you by your last name? Why don't they call you Severus and Draco? Ya know, Draco means something like 'Dragon lord' or something like that.

  
  


China: Actually, his entire name, first and last, means 'Dragon's big Mistake'... but no matter.You two are coming with us. Class dismissed! You all get a 100 on

this test. 

  
  


Class: Yay!

  
  


Dragonwings: Harry, Ron, and Hermione are coming with us too!

  
  


Harry, Ron, and Hermione: Phoey!

  
  


Dragonwings: Why is it always Harry, Ron, and Hermione? Why not Hermione Harry, and Ron? Or Ron, Hermione, and Harry? I'm going to fix that. From now on, Harry will not be written first or else they will face the wrath of the Dragon!

  
  


Draco: Shouldn't that be my decision since you said I was the 'Dragon Lord'?

  
  


Dragonwings: I'm older than you so I get to make that decision. I am a Professor, ya know. 

  
  


Severus: (points at China) But she's a Headmistress and she's dating Mal-, I mean Draco.

  
  


Dragonwings: I'm the one writing this so I say how things are! Shut up and kiss me!

  
  


Severus: (does as he's told and kisses her)

  
  


Dragonwings: Okeedokee! Let's go! Onward to France!

  
  


China: Yay! Hey, Draco dear, don't I get a kiss?

  
  


Dragonwings: Give me a second! I can't type that fast!

  
  


China: Geeze what a slow poke . . . .

  
  


Dragonwings: No Poke'mon allowed! Do you want a kiss or not? If so stop talking so I can get to that!

  
  


Draco: (kisses China)

  
  


Dragonwings: There, happy? Now, to France!

  
  


Hermione, Ron, and Harry: (attempt to sneak away)

  
  


China: Oh no you don't! (grabs Ron, Hermione and, Harry)

  
  


All: (apperates to France)

  
  


Dragonwings: Yay, France! Oh look, an empty bus . . . . . (gets a hypnotized look in her eye and heads toward the bus) The keys are still in here! (throws everyone in the bus and starts the engine) Yay! Time for fun!

  
  


China: Oh look! There's a whole bunch of Pixie Stixs back here! And Dr. Pepper to last a life time and then some!

  
  


All: (feed on giant pile of flavored sugar in a paper tube)

  
  


China & Draco: (doing god knows what in the back of the bus)

  
  


Severus: Quit that! 

  
  


DameChina: Quit doing what? If only God knows what we're doing then it doesn't mean it's bad. We're just playing poker. ::under her breath:: So what if it is strip poker . . .

  
  


Harry: Why are we here?

  
  


Dragonwings: I don't know. I just thought you might be of some use. I wish these people would quit hogging the sidewalk . . . .

  
  


Severus: You don't know how to drive?!?!?!?!?

  
  


Dragonwings: Do I have to?

  
  


All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  
  


Dragonwings: No we're not. It is easy to drive in France. You just drive on the wrong side of the road and swerve a whole bunch or at least that's how it is in the movies.

  
  


China: (holding Draco's pants [NOT underwear] in her hands) I won and I only lost my shirt!

  
  


Severus: Get your clothes back on! No more strip poker! The only ones who are allowed to play strip poker are me and Dragonwings because we're teachers and older than you! (sticks out his tongue)

  
  


Dragonwings: Ron, take the wheel, I want to play poker!

  
  


Ron: Finally, I get picked to do something important and not Harry! Yay!

  
  


Harry: Hey! It's not like I beg the genius and wonderful lady J.K. Rowling to make me the bravest and best character. She just likes me.

  
  


J.K. Roweling: Hi all!

  
  


All: (kneel at the feet of the greatest writer of the millennium and for

all times)

  
  


Dragonwings: What have we done to deserve your presence, o' Great One?

  
  


J.K.: Nothing. I don't even know where I am. Where am I and how do I get

back home?

  
  


China: You are in a runaway bus in France and don't worry, I'll magic you back. Goalus Homalus! 

  
  


J.K. : Thanks! (vanishes)

  
  


Severus: Now back to poker!

  
  


Ron: How do I steer this thing?!?!?!?

  
  


Hermione: Here let me help you. (grabs wheel and swerves like crazy) Stupid people get out of my way!

  
  


Dragonwings: Severus! Let's make this game a little bit more risky. Who ever loses has to dance out side in their underwear singing Britney

Spears (shudders) songs.

  
  


Severus: You're on! Get your best singing voice ready!

  
  


Hermione: WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!

  
  


All except for Dragonwings and Severus who are more interested in their

poker game: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!

  
  


CRASH!

  
  


China: Is every one ok?

  
  


All: Yes!

  
  


Dragonwings: NO! I'm losing!

  
  


Severus: Heh heh heh! I love this game!

  
  


A few minutes later . . .

  
  


Dragonwings: I lost!

  
  


Severus: Start singing, sweetums! (evil laugh)

  
  


Dragonwings: My loneliness ins killing bees and I, I must confess I have dirty knees! When the sky's not blue I lose my mind. Help me

fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind, it. HIT ME POTTER ONE MORE TIME! Hang on wait. I'm the one typing this! Draco will now take my spot as the looser of strip poker!

  
  


Draco: Dang. Well, I guess I better get this over. Hit me baby one more time!

  
  


China: How dare you do this to my precious Drakiewakie! You little! (grabs Dragonwings's hair)

  
  


Dragonwings: Aaaaaaaaaaaah! Let go of my hair! (cat fight with China)

  
  


Hermione: What are we going to do with this bus?

  
  


Ron: Forget the bus, this fight is getting good. 

  
  


Draco: Dear diary, today I saw a boy... ::shudders:: 

  
  


China: I'm beginning to wonder about his... preferences...

  
  


Harry: Wish I had some popcorn.

  
  


Severus: Oh well. Sweety pie, if you can hear me, I'm going home. I need to finish grading tests. Love you. Kiss kiss! Bye! (apparates away)

  
  


Ron: Hey wait! What about us? We're too young to apparate! We're stuck here!

  
  


Draco: Give me a siiiiiiign to stop singing HIT ME WEASLY ONE MORE TIME!

  
  


Ron: Finally I get my name in a song, but I'm not going to hit you. (slaps his forehead) What am I thinking? Why should I pass up this opportunity to hit Draco? (hits Draco hard)

  
  


China: ::mutters:: That could be taken in a number of ways...

  
  


Dragonwings: (stops hitting China and looks up) Hey, where did my wittle honey bunch go? He left again! Dang it! Oh well. Draco, stop singing! (mutters) Since you couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.

  
  


China: GRRRR!!!! I'LL GET YOU, YOU LITTLE - Oh well. You can all go home. (gives Draco a big romantic movie type

kiss)

  
  


Dragonwings: (pouts because her little Severywevery left her all alone) Hmpf. (kisses Ron instead)

  
  


Ron: Hey, you're like waaaaaaaaaay older than me!

  
  


Dragonwings: You don't know that. Besides you deserve a kiss. No one ever gives you any love.

  
  


Hermione: Hey! Excuse me!

  
  


China: Dragonwings, I REFUSE to allow you to include ANY H/Rness in this fic... in fact, I'm changing it... ::gives Hermione and Dragonwings evil look:: You KNOW how I feel about h/r shippers...

  
  


Hermione: Uh, I... uh, I meant 'excuse me' because I bumped into the side of the bus!

  
  


Dragonwings: Uh oh. Bye! (makes all RW [Ron Weasly] characters go back to Hogwarts)

  
  


China: Hey, there are no such things as the Ron Weasly characters!

  
  


Dragonwings: Yes there are. They are just the HP characters under a

different name. Of course the PB characters are much cooler.

  
  


Abby: Peanut butter?

  
  


Dragonwings: No, the Professor Borealis characters. She's another character in my fanfics, kinda like SpamWarrior's Lona Doors. I love SpamWarrior! She's the best! This thing is getting too long. Bye everyone. 

  
  


China: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUU!!! YOU TALK ABOUT THAT CRAZY FIC OF YOURS NIGHT AND DAY, AND _THEN _YOU COMPARE PROFESSOR BOREALIS TO LORNA DOORS! YOU'RE CRAZY! Oh well. Bye!

  
  


Dragonwings & Abby: (apparate away)

  
  


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The next day . . . .

  
  


Severus: What is this? A Howler! Oh no, not now. Not during class!

  
  


Draco: What is it? Oh, not a Howler!

  
  


Ron: Open it, Snape! He he! Let's see what it has to say. 

  
  


Howler: (in Dragonwings's voice) SEVERUS! HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME ALL ALONE

WITH OUT A KISS! I HAD TO KISS RON INSTEAD! DO YOU KNOW HOW HUMILLIATING THAT WAS TO HAVE TO KISS HIM?!?!?! I'D RATHER KISS A BLAST-ENDED SKREWT! YOU HAD BETTER BE ABLE TO MAKE THIS UP! IF I EVER HAVE TO KISS THAT LITTLE WART AGAIN, SEVERUS I SWEAR BY EVERYTHING GOOD AND WIZARDLY YOU WILL BE IN DEEEEEEEEEP TROUBLE! IT WILL BE WORSE THAN THIS STUPID EMBARRASING HOWLER!

Yours forever,

Dragonwings

  
  


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**

Abby, forgive me! I had to do it! Oh also as of September 6, 2000, I have not posted the story with Professor Borealis in it yet. She

is coming soon though. I'm thinking about a second part. Let me know what

you think.

- Dragonwings

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**


End file.
